A handmaid of the Lord

Behold the handmaid of the Lord: Be it done unto me according to Thy word. These are the thoughts and experiences of my journey toward being a handmaid with Mary as my example.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

One of those Days

Today is one of those days where I wish I could disappear into thin air. One of those days that I'll be home alone with two children under two until midnight. One of those days where both of my girls decide that they're going to cry all day long. I've been home for an hour and a half from an awesome weekend from College Station and already I'm ready to pull my hair out. I have so much to do around here and the girls demand so much of my attention that I just don't think I can do it all. I try so hard to serve my family with joy, but when I reach the end of my rope like this I get scared and freek out and I just want to cry. Charlie (and others) tell me, oh, someday it will be better. But I find no consolation in someday, because I am living in right now and right now I want to leave. Someday is a looooooooooooooooooooong way away for me, that doesn't make me feel better at all. I know that God has a plan for my life, but sometimes I wonder if I made good decisions because I really don't feel ready for all this. I am too young to feel this old. Well, away I go to deal with the two screaming children...

2 Comments:

At 4/02/2006 7:30 PM, Blogger Jennie C. said...

Dear Andrea, some days are like that. You aren't alone in the struggle to be a good mom against enormous odds. I don't know what your Charlie does for a living that keeps him away, but my beloved is a soldier, so I know about being alone, too. He was deployed for a year, home for a month, and now gone to school for three more months. He doesn't really help out with housework or childcare, but he gives me relief from the sheer overwhelmingness of it all. And some days are like this one. Some days the kids scream, the diapers leak, dinner is burned, the place is a mess, and you really want to be somewhere else. Tomorrow will be better. Or if not tomorrow, the next day.

I was just thinking, kids thrive on routine, on knowing when it will be lunch time, nap time, going for a walk time. If you don't have a routine, that will make your days go smoother. Hugs to you anyway. I have days like this too.

 
At 4/04/2006 12:51 PM, Blogger Andie said...

Awww. I came to your blog via Far Beyond Pearls...this post got me all choked up.

I remember having two little girls those ages, and for me those years were the hardest. It was overwhelming with the toddler and baby and the work of mommying is different in those years. So much can't be planned or anticipated.

Now I have five, and even two that close again, but the three bigger ones engage my mind differently than babies, are always ready to lend a hand or hip for holding a baby, etc., and that makes a difference.

And, frankly, the shock of the workload has just plain worn off LOL. Some encouragement, eh?

Anyway, Jennie gives more sound advice than I. She's right, especially, about routine.

I just wanted to add my heartfelt "been there, done that." Hang in there.

 

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